METAPHORS OR LACK THEREOF

BASEBALL

Baseball is a great metaphor for life. We work to attain a certain level of excellence as individuals in various facets of life but eventually most of us become part of a team....could be a family team or work team. We still work to achieve individual goals but often we must sacrifice for the greater good. And that brings me to my main man, Ichiro Suzuki. This guy had more hits in one season than anyone in the history of baseball. Yes, the other night, in a critical moment of the game, he laid down what was to be a sacrifice bunt. This play allows the runner on 2nd in this case, to move to 3rd and usually the bunter is thrown out. In effect, the player gives himself up for the good of the team and to move the runner up. In this case however, Ichiro was simply too fast and even made it to 1st safely himself. This is why I think baseball is the greatest sport. I've racked my brain today and can't think of another team sport where a player has to truly sacrifice themselves and make an out in order to help the team. You can say passing up a shot in basketball is similar but you're really no giving yourself up. Luckily, baseball realized early on that a player should not be penalized due to such a sacrifice and the player is not even given an official at-bat in the box score. I love the sacrifice in baseball.....it is the ultimate in respect for team and group goals and seems to mirror much of what we encounter everyday at work and at home.

MOVIES AS METAPHOR FOR PILES OF CRAP

I understand that I look at things from an artist's perspective. So when I see what I consider heaping piles of dog shit thrown up on the movie screen on a weekly basis and watch millions and millions of people pay millions and millions of dollars to see this stuff I understand why it is a never ending cycle. To me movies are theater. I want to see people who are at the highest level in their profession, who really now how to act, who don't just look good but can get inside a character's mind and bring that character to us. I also like costume design, music, sounds effects and all that stuff. So when I see an odd cut in a movie...something I'd consider bad editing...I think to myself "are you fucking kidding me?"....."this is the same as an NBA player - someone who shoots baskets all day long - only able to hit 50 percent of his free throws". Please people....are we just going to keep turning out the crap as fast as we can forever? Are any of these idiot editors and idiot screenwriters ever going to be held accountable? Well, I guess as long as you can hit just 50 percent at the free throw line you're good enough to make 10 million a year. In the NBA it's called height. In Hollywood it's called "who ya know".

97.1 AS A METAPHOR FOR ARMAGEDDON

97.1 was my favorite talk radio station. They had Adam Carrola in the morning, Tom Leykis in the afternoon and a bunch of other rather funny and entertaining shows on all day long. It made driving in L.A. tolerable. But now hang on people - all those talk personalities are too expensive....so they fire everyone and start a non-stop music format. The billboards all around LA now have "The New 97.1" and lucky for us - pictures of Brittney Spears all over the place. I'm at a complete loss, I really am. This is what is important in America. Brittney Spears. She must be marketed over and over and over. This is what we want our children to behold as the good in life. This is what we want them to aspire to. This is good art. This is good entertainment. Thank you CBS. Thank you 97.1 for clarifying. OH, I know it's a money issue like everything else but why don't you take your money and just buy yourselves a nice place on the Ivory Coast or something. Why must you keep force feeding our culture such complete shit?

GRIPE OF THE DAY

HUH? Must I really grip? I've done that already. OK - maybe I'll try a "Props of the Day" today. Um...let me think. OK - props to every music student at my university who double or triples their practice time on weekends while everyone else is out playing in the sun. You are the ones that will have the jobs in the future and then you'll get your time in the sun, while the others are stuck in 60 hour a week jobs.